![]() ![]() I might not tell you “no” outright, but you will soon come to find out that whatever it is you were hoping to have me do is NOT going to happen. Passive resistance is my way of not being controlled by others or made to do something that I do not want to do. Just thinking about my own passive resistance makes me cringe! Enneagram 9’s are generally thought of as easy-going, understanding, patient, accommodating, and the like - which we are! But, we also have a very stubborn side to us, and it usually shows up in passive resistance. Having safe people in my life to practice with has allowed me to discover the gift of being loved and accepted. ![]() Learning how to be more authentic myself, especially when that involves disagreeing with others has taken a lot of practice. And that is when I tend to merge with everyone else because possible negative consequences of being different feel too overwhelming. If I am completely honest, it is so easy for me to go to this space. Will this state of disagreement/conflict last forever? If how I feel or what I want goes against the feelings or desires of those I care about it feels incredibly risky to make that fact known. It can feel so essential to me that the people around me are taken care of that I forget about the fact that I have feelings and needs as well. It’s like that saying, “happy wife - happy life,” except for 9’s it’s more like, “happy partner, family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, grocer at the supermarket, and guy passing you on the street - happy life.” Just writing that out feels a bit exhausting, but that is how I can tend to spend most of my time if I am not making an effort to tune into my own experience. If they are comfortable and at peace, I am comfortable and at peace. It is so easy that I often forget to even stop and ask myself what I want - I tell myself that all I want is for those around me to be comfortable. ![]() Tendency to MergeĪs a peacekeeper, it is so easy for me as an Enneagram 9 to go along with everyone one else in order to not stir the pot. I like my life to be comfortable and peaceful, making any change difficult, even when it is something that I strongly desire. Other times, I might stuff my desires away when they contradict someone else’s so that a stone of conflict is not thrown into my lake, causing ripples to spread across the entire surface. I might also stick my head underwater for a bit when I feel something unpleasant arising, in hopes that the disturbance will have passed by when I resurface. This leads me to do things such as ignore my own anger in an attempt to keep my inner lake from turning into a boiling hot spring. I want so badly for my entire life experience to match that tranquil lake scene. My “happy place” is a crystal-clear, glass-smooth lake surrounded by tall redwood trees that block out the noise from the rest of the world, making for a quiet, truly serene environment. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |